Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Issey par Avion

It came in with the mail.

Issey Miyake 'L'Eau d'Issey' Extract Parfum

A suprise gift from a friend. I am thankful but a bit ambivalent about sending scents as gifts. She has great taste and I am sure I will enjoy it...It's just, well, scents are pretty damn personal.

Hmm, I also wonder if she thinks my current scent isn't up to par.

Fake City

I've always wanted...ok fine, dying of curiousity about the secret markets on Canal Street. I do see fakes all around but what I am talking about is the one that involves talking to a random man and then following him to a strange destination all in the name of a fake bag. While the desire is strong, I am also not stupid and so I bid my time. I mean seriously, if you won't get into the car of a stranger why would you follow one into a dark alley way...to buy a purse?!

Finally, the day CAME!

My friend James the Detective is currently working on a task force to deal with piracy issues in NYC and after some begging, three pitchers of beers and lots of wings, I landed a spot in one of his undercover expedition. We would be tourists from Wisconsin visiting NYC for the firs time and we'll be married. There's a problem with that later. Explaination to follow.

"Dress the part," he told me after stumbling out the door.

So I did. I went to Sears and after two hours in the Clearance Section, got an outfit that would make you weep in awe at my genius. I got jeans, a "I Loves Pooh" sweatshirt, and the biggest canvas bag with also the biggest cat on it I have ever seen. Total for all of this love, $16 with a coupon I found while reading the paper on the ride to Sears!

James didn't let me take pictures of our outfits but let's just say his matched mine, down to the 'Bud' t-shirt.

So we get off the train and wandered around for a a while. I see some terrible little Gucci wallets and a few set of Tiffany earrings but nothing major. I want more. I want Dior, I want Chanel, I want Coach in awful mismatched colours!

A guy sees me picking up a little LV clutch and comes over. He's about 25 but has the teeth of a 50 year old chain smoker.

"Youu guys wanna Guucii, Loueee Voootoon," he asked.
"Yeah, yeah!" I said, a little to happy.
"Yeah? Youu flouwww meee," he said and then whips out his cell.
He screams a string of Chinese and pulls me and James with him into an apartment building. He locks the door behind us.

I can see James watching him. I tense up.

"Nooo, you finish," the guy said. "I offpen the door for wuu."

So we follow him up a flight of stairs and go through another door. He locks it behind us. We are in an apartment. He walks us into the living room and HOLY KATE MOSS! Wall to wall to wall of the fake stuff. Little boutiques almost. The Guccis are on one large table. Behind it, on the walls are lined rows and rows of heels and sneakers. Little interlocking G's abound. Chanel was next, with makeup, perfume and even bathrobes.

"You buy treee, I give you one," a woman yells at me and hands me a Coach bag.

It's all here. The ugly LV mink thing that looks like a bath mat that Andre wore around a few years ago. I see my own Fendi but this time, available in a rubbery leather and covered in glittered. I see Fendi Spy everywhere, from the print all the way to the white mink. YSL's are stacked high. I see the Shopper Tote I've drooled over. The same woman that gave me the Coach bag came over and took me into another room. It's wall to wall clothing. MJ tops. Is it real? I couldn't tell. The detailing is beautiful. He makes his entire collection in China so who knew if they were fakes orjust unaccounted productions. LV boots and heels. She tells me to try on a Dior suit.

I see James. He is negotiating for a Dior Homme laptop.

I felt sick standing there. I thanked the woman, took off the suit and went to see James.

"Buy something," he told me. I see him paying for the Dior bag.

So I wandered around towards the Prada selections and picked up a clutch. It looks just like mine, even down to the lining inside. The leather felt real. The threads looked tight and the stitches were minute. If I was holding my own Prada next to the one they were selling for $15; I wouldn't have know the difference. So I bought it.

We leave. The guy that took us in, took us out. He relocks the door behind us. We walk out on the streets with out purchases in black plastic bags. I look around. Everybody has a little black bag. A woman ahead of is is holding a huge LV carryall. We get on the train and I see bags all around me. We get off near 14th and walk home.

James takes his Dior bag and my Prada clutch. He tags them as evidence. Wrote down the address of the "shop" and a description of the guy who took us in.

"Good job," he said.

I just felt a little dirty, like I did something bad. It didn't go as I had imagined, at all.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Viv On Repeat

When I ran into her in Vienna, I was wearing thigh-high leather boots and covered in crystals. She asked if everything was sparkly and I said she was always welcome to check and then she laughed and told me I was a bit too cheeky for my own good.

She had on this great dress which appeared again in Milan...It worries me a bit when she does a repeat.

LifeBall 2007 and Milan Fashion Week 07

Photo: A. Tischler and WireImage

Nina and the Met

Sportin' the latest Nina Ricci Fall duds, the ladies went out to meet Olivier at the Met. Here's a lesson on the fine art of wearing Ricci.


I've always admired the brand and personally think that the good Doctor should be banned from donning anything from the House, ever again. Just utterly tacky.

Photo: Patrick McMullan

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Alice Temperley

Of the people I know, I am the only one not hiding a bottle of prescription something or other in my bag. Instead, I shop at Target. I know...but I love it. It's my drug of choice.

I love the Go International Collections. Libertine was clearly the best of all of them, demonstrating the most focus. I generally like most of them but...I was there yesterday and it was...Maybe someone can explain to me where I can actually go dressed like this.

Sunday Morn'

I'm visiting a friend in a nearby city. He does PR for a little French label that will rock the market when it comes to the USA. Imagine the 24 lines by YSL but add in more staples like cashmere hoodies and the nicest set of bright blue cashmere mittens ever. You'll love them when they arrive States side. They're thinking about launching it first in a small city before marketing it in NYC.

I couldn't sleep. Maybe it's the guilt from buying that Fendi bag (I didn't need another one...right?) Regardless, it's done. I got up early.

Fall's here, no?

Top Model: The Afghan Edition

Rumour has it that six years after the Taliban rule, an even harsher dictatorship has taken power. Reuters reported that in the northern Afghan city of Mazar-i-Sharif, a local television station staged a low-budget take on the hit "America's Next Top Model."

Can Ms. J be far and those crazy outfits be far behind? Run y'all! Run!

Photo: Reuters